When Dreams DO NOT Come True

dream shatteredWhat happens when Dreams do not come true?

Growing up, my mom used to tell me: “nothing is impossible except death” (of course she said it in Spanish and I am attempting to translate it). What she was trying to say is that “when you set your mind in a goal, there is nothing that will stop you from achieving it except if you die”. Perhaps my mom, without realizing it, was raising me to be ambitious and driven as I turn out to be. I grew up with that mindset: if you want something, just go get it.

Consequently, I have always had dreams and I have achieved them. It all came natural to me; however, my parents were very cautious not to encourage me to follow dreams that were not achievable. In fact, my parents were so risk averse that sometimes I wonder how a dreamer like me was raised by non-dreamers like them.

As the years have passed, I realized that they don’t cope well with failure, and I learned that behavior from them. My parents encouraged me to dream big and make those dreams a reality; however, they also tought me that I may not be able to accomplish them all. They didn’t teach me how to react if my dreams do not come true.

I do not deal well with failure; actually, I do not find it acceptable. I am tougher on myself than with others. I seem to accept and understand (or excuse) other people when they do not make their dreams come true; however, when it comes to me, I don’t know how to deal with it. Is it really a failure when you can’t accomplish your dreams? Or is it that same failure the fuel that ignites your internal engine to continue pursuing your dreams? Or is it the stop sign or detour sign that makes you change and adapt and most importantly “accept” your limitations?

I don’t know the right answer. My life experiences has taught me to “adapt and accept”, but “never give up”. I believe in dreams and giving the 100% to accomplish them; however, we need to be aware that after climbing the mountain, the “top view” may not be exactly what we had in mind. Sometimes, that view is better and actually surpasses our expectations, but other times, what we dreamt does not look like what we have accomplished.

How do you deal with that disparity? Do you get disappointed and give up? Do you look for another mountain to climb? Or do you stay there and appreciate the view although does not match what you had imagined or expected?

Photo credit: we ❤ it.com

About MariaManess

A passionate and creative engineer woman with a business mind, working hard to accomplish life-long goals.

Posted on April 14, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Jorge Bucay has a great way of dealing with dreams: OSO idiota. Here is a link to the 3 min. discourse by Bucay. http://mundobucay.blogspot.com/2011/07/la-regla-del-oso-idiota-video.html

    The idea is, if you really want something, Obtenlo (get it). If you absolutely cannot accomplish your specific desire, then Sustituyelo (find a substitution). If there truly is no substitute, then Olvidalo (forget it). If you cannot forget it, then you are not so smart (he uses a stronger word).

    It sounds like you have a good approach, though. And, it sounds like your idealism has a touch of realism, and this is not so bad. Seth Godin wrote a book called The Dip, which is all about success and quitting. He points out that the most successful people learn when to quit. Personally, I would rather be a law school dropout than be an unhappy lawyer for the rest of my life because my dream was to become a lawyer.

    Good article!

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